You gave your life in a beautiful exchange. ♥

Biography

The name is ERNZZZ. Just turned legal 18! Currently studying in Melbourne. Young future Architect! God, I love.

Innerwords

Praise in the morning, Praise in the evening
Praise when im laughing, Praise when im grieving
There will be dancing, There will be singing
Upon injustice we will tell of our God
In the darkness, in trial
My soul shall sing
Of His mercy, and kindness
Our offering of praise
Our God never fails
Our God never fails."

Gotcha!

Linksboard

Meet the people I love♥

Amal
Andrew
Crystal
Daphne
Eleena
Erica
Eugenia
Kimmy
Kristen
Liz
Megalicious
Michelle
Michelle tan
Qhalis
Sam
Su Mei
Raisa
Russell
Tan Ying
Vicky

Pastentries

♥ August 2009
♥ September 2009
♥ October 2009
♥ November 2009
♥ December 2009
♥ January 2010
♥ February 2010
♥ March 2010
♥ April 2010
♥ May 2010
♥ June 2010
♥ July 2010
♥ August 2010
♥ September 2010
♥ October 2010
♥ November 2010
♥ December 2010
♥ January 2011
♥ February 2011

Creditorials

NEVER REMOVE THIS SECTION!

Layout Designer:
♥chocodiiction -lovesxoxo*
Others:
♥ ♥ ♥

Thursday, February 24, 2011

I know who I am, I know the way I would react to things, I know my limitations. I know I'm not exactly a social butterfly. So sometimes I wonder why I can't be friendly, outgoing and someone who's able to make friends easily? Going into a new year, into the first year of uni, into a new uni, none of my friends are following me to where I go to now. And I'm nervous. Nervous because I'm going someplace where I don't know anyone. Where I would need to make new friends. You see, its not in me to make friends that easily. I come off as a quiet and shy person when you first meet me, and that itself makes it hard for me to make friends because I would be perceived as arrogant. Which I'm not, because once you get to know me, I am a whole different person. No, I am not two faced. I'm just a different person because I would be comfortable around you and would be comfortable being myself. Sometimes I wonder why can't I just go up to someone and say, 'Hi! How're you going?'. Sometimes I wonder why is it so hard for me to connect with people? I really think in my life, there are only a handful of people that I can say that I can talk to them for hours and never run out of things to talk about. And so, I wonder why I'm this way. I wanna change that side of me. So I'll try.

Someone told me lately that there is no rule that says that I can't be happy. I realized that it really is just a decision. Whether you wanna mope around or try to get over whatever you're going through. Looking back, I've lived too many days in the first option, and that didn't really bring me anywhere. So, I've decided that maybe I should try option two. It doesn't mean that I've turn cold and turned my feelings off, because I haven't. I still lie in my bed at night and shed a tear or two but every time I do, I tell myself not to fall apart and to be strong. Because whether I like it or not, life moves on and it won't wait for me.

♥our lips must always be sealed

2:53 PM

Friday, February 11, 2011

I leave tonight. I can definitely say that I'm leaving with a heavy heart. Thinking about it, the previous times I've left, I don't think that I was this heavy hearted. I remember, the first time I left for Melb, sure I was sad that I was leaving home, but I also remember being so sick of what was going on in my life at that time that I couldn't wait to leave and start over, a fresh start. And last year was great. 2010 was definitely the year of growth, experience and change. Now heading back in 2011, I wonder how this year would turn out. But we will never really know, will we?

Being back home for the summer this time, it has been really good, to my surprise. But of course something was definitely the reason to it being good. January, the month where I was constantly truly genuinely happy, something I haven't felt in awhile. What sucks is that it has to end. Life moves on you know, it won't stop for me or anyone else. This coming year I will be expecting, a tough course, business, sleepless nights, coffee etc. I pray that I will be able to make it through everything that gets thrown towards me this year.

Tonight, 2 people have told me the almost exact same thing. One after the other. Both of them told me that I was a strong person and they know that I don't see myself as it sometimes, but they reassured me I was. Maybe it was a reminder, you know. Maybe God wanted to keep me reminded. Because I know how vulnerable I can be. I feel too much. I think too much. I feel hurt often. And sometimes I wonder where do all these emotions come from. Probably from the past. Things I went through. But also, those were the things that made me who I am today. Maybe those were the things that made me strong. I may not see myself as a strong person. But I am glad that I portray myself as such. At least people see that in me. They see something I don't, and sometimes that amazes me. I do doubt myself, many many times. I put myself down. But somehow I manage to pull through every time. It isn't easy, but I manage to. Sometimes I ask myself where my self-confidence is. But every time I ask myself that, I'm always reminded that I need to be confident because there is no point in looking down on myself.

You told me the things about me that you like. Honestly, it surprised me. Because those things you mentioned, I never knew I had it in me. I'm glad that you've seen that part of me, that part that I myself do not see. And I'm happy that I am who you describe me to be. I never knew I was that kind of person. So, thank you for bringing out the best in me.

♥our lips must always be sealed

2:01 AM

Saturday, January 29, 2011

I hate this. Tell me, why does this always happen to me? When will it ever stop? When will everything just be prefect and work out the way I dream it would be. Sure, some may say that its how life is. But for once, can't things go the way I want it to be? Why is there something that's always in the way. ALL the time, things in the way, all the freaking time.

Truth is, I'm scared. So so scared that you can't even imagine how I feel right now. Its times like these when I need reassurance.

I need to learn how to control my emotions better. But I guess I'm not that kinda person.

I'll tell you flat out
It hurts so much to think of this
So from my thoughts I will exclude
The very thing that
I hate more than everything is
The way I'm powerless
To dictate my own moods

♥our lips must always be sealed

2:52 AM

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Cause everything feels so right whenever you're around.

Know what I've realized? Every time I'm with you, I can't help but smile, not just any smile, but an actual genuine huge grin. And it doesn't only last for a few minutes, it lasts almost the whole time I'm with you. Even my cheeks will get tired after awhile. I love how easily you can make me smile and laugh. And even when I'm not around you, I sometimes catch myself smiling unconsciously and I'll have to look around to see if anyone's looking cause they would probably think I'm a weirdo smiling to herself. Well, I can't help it when you make me this happy!

Funny how a year ago, we were close but not in this sorta way. Yeah sure, we talked quite often and I felt super comfortable talking to you because I felt like we connected but it was never like this. I remember telling myself that what I was hoping that could come out of our friendship will always and only be possible in my mind and I eventually lost all hope but little did I know. And now I cherish every moment we spend together. Even if its only for a couple of minutes.

You make my tummy feel funny, make my mouth go dry and make my heart beat twice as fast just knowing that I'm gonna see you.

I won't forget the little things you do because I'm a sucker for those kinda things. (;

♥our lips must always be sealed

5:25 PM

Saturday, January 15, 2011

because it happens all the time.

I don't know what it is about you but to me you are just simply amazing. Amazing enough to make me feel the way I do. I don't think that anyone has made me open up to them as quickly as you have. Maybe its because I feel so comfortable with you, feeling like I can trust you. Talking with you for hours seem like minutes. And there isn't an awkward silence in our conversations. And I would stay up all night just to hear about your day.

No doubt there's that fear in my heart, of what could happen and what would become of this. But I don't really wanna think about them atm, I just wanna make the best of it, making memories as we go ahead. I just wish time would just slow down for us. But I will treasure every moment.

You make me happy, and that's enough.

♥our lips must always be sealed

2:42 AM